I'm a hazzard to myself
I don't know what's got into me. First I break my toe on a swiffer mop, then I dislocate my shoulder, then yesterday I commit carnage on the same poor toe that was just starting to feel a lot better. I was walking around to turn the water on at the side of the house so Lacy (the muddy eared bassed hound) could have a bath. The fence was finished by lunch yesterday so when Doug got off work he ran by the old house to pick her up. (Funny story about the fence I'll write about in a minute) We couldn't bring her here without a fence to stay in because her nose will carry her for miles and miles - and take all the other dogs with it. The faucet is at the front of the house behind the azaela bushes. I went to step between the bushes and caught my toe on a low branch.
It's there to do harm, I know it is. I've never went back to turn the water on when I didn't stumble over that nubby little bare azaela appendage, but yesterday I caught it just right enough. A wave of nausea overtook me immediately. I leaned against the house once I recovered my balance. Blood poured from my foot and puddled on the ground beside my shoe. It must be the toenail, I thought.
Doug and Leirin helped me to the porch and went to get ice and a wet washcloth (for my face because I felt sick) while I bled puddles worthy of a violent crime scene on the porch tile.
Doug was able to get a good look at it around midnight last night when he was bandaging it again. It had swollen to the point where the other bandage was too tight and causing it to throb with constant pain. I couldn't get comfortable. I had turned into a whining fool ready to go track down the first person on the street corner with a pocket full of prescription pain killers that we could find. (I don't know if we have such a thing but I was ready to look) Apparently I caught the branch just right enough on the end of my toe to cut into my toe and all the way under my toenail - like you'd slice a sub roll. He is certain that it is broken (again) and that I most likely need stitches to hold the top half of my toe to the bottom half of it (which I tried arguing vehemently against this morning when he came in to check on me). It has finally stopped bleeding and I am seriously against having my body sewn. Tatooed, I might go for, but a shot there in the middle of that painful boo-boo? I think not. I don't wanna. I might have to resort to hiding somewhere in the house so he can't find me when he comes in from work to take me to the doctor.
I. DON'T. WANT. TO. GO.
I have electricians coming this morning. The vet is going to be here this afternoon. I have seven cats to round up from who-knows-where outside so they are here and ready for shots by the time he comes. I have stuff to build by crikey.
And I'm a wuss. I've had stitches once in my life. I passed out. Actually I threw up and then I passed out. Not from the stitches, but from the cut (two of my fingers cut to the bone) It's the shot to numb it that I can't deal with. With all the advances in medical technology I don't understand why we have to have shots to numb. I mean, why can't there be a spray that does it? A numbing gentle mist? Anything but a shot in the middle of the very painful boo-boo!
Why do they call them shots anyway? The word alone sounds much worse than most injuries.
I cut my toe. (don't sound so bad)
I broke my toe (ouch, must hurt but still not so bad)
You're going to need a SHOT. (See? That sounds worse than the other two combined!)
Ok, I can't think about it anymore. I might give in to an xray so I can get a boot and crutches (I don't know how to work a walking stick. I'm uncoordinated.) But if they mess with the cut part and try to give me a shot in there I might have to be sick on the doctor. I can't let my kids see me do that.
Ok, enough of that. I can't think about them poking in my toe anymore. It's too horrible.
The funny story on the fence is the gate. I - in a show of true genius - bought a gate that's too low and with gaps that are too wide. Within 42 seconds, Calliope and Luna went through the pickets in the gate and Gimli and Buddy had gone over the top. It will only be effective for short, fat dogs (of which we have two). How's that for a show of smartness?
It's there to do harm, I know it is. I've never went back to turn the water on when I didn't stumble over that nubby little bare azaela appendage, but yesterday I caught it just right enough. A wave of nausea overtook me immediately. I leaned against the house once I recovered my balance. Blood poured from my foot and puddled on the ground beside my shoe. It must be the toenail, I thought.
Doug and Leirin helped me to the porch and went to get ice and a wet washcloth (for my face because I felt sick) while I bled puddles worthy of a violent crime scene on the porch tile.
Doug was able to get a good look at it around midnight last night when he was bandaging it again. It had swollen to the point where the other bandage was too tight and causing it to throb with constant pain. I couldn't get comfortable. I had turned into a whining fool ready to go track down the first person on the street corner with a pocket full of prescription pain killers that we could find. (I don't know if we have such a thing but I was ready to look) Apparently I caught the branch just right enough on the end of my toe to cut into my toe and all the way under my toenail - like you'd slice a sub roll. He is certain that it is broken (again) and that I most likely need stitches to hold the top half of my toe to the bottom half of it (which I tried arguing vehemently against this morning when he came in to check on me). It has finally stopped bleeding and I am seriously against having my body sewn. Tatooed, I might go for, but a shot there in the middle of that painful boo-boo? I think not. I don't wanna. I might have to resort to hiding somewhere in the house so he can't find me when he comes in from work to take me to the doctor.
I. DON'T. WANT. TO. GO.
I have electricians coming this morning. The vet is going to be here this afternoon. I have seven cats to round up from who-knows-where outside so they are here and ready for shots by the time he comes. I have stuff to build by crikey.
And I'm a wuss. I've had stitches once in my life. I passed out. Actually I threw up and then I passed out. Not from the stitches, but from the cut (two of my fingers cut to the bone) It's the shot to numb it that I can't deal with. With all the advances in medical technology I don't understand why we have to have shots to numb. I mean, why can't there be a spray that does it? A numbing gentle mist? Anything but a shot in the middle of the very painful boo-boo!
Why do they call them shots anyway? The word alone sounds much worse than most injuries.
I cut my toe. (don't sound so bad)
I broke my toe (ouch, must hurt but still not so bad)
You're going to need a SHOT. (See? That sounds worse than the other two combined!)
Ok, I can't think about it anymore. I might give in to an xray so I can get a boot and crutches (I don't know how to work a walking stick. I'm uncoordinated.) But if they mess with the cut part and try to give me a shot in there I might have to be sick on the doctor. I can't let my kids see me do that.
Ok, enough of that. I can't think about them poking in my toe anymore. It's too horrible.
The funny story on the fence is the gate. I - in a show of true genius - bought a gate that's too low and with gaps that are too wide. Within 42 seconds, Calliope and Luna went through the pickets in the gate and Gimli and Buddy had gone over the top. It will only be effective for short, fat dogs (of which we have two). How's that for a show of smartness?
6 Comments:
Ouch! I broke my little toe once racing to answer the phone. I caught it on a bookcase. OMG, did it ever hurt! It was stuck sideways, so I called the hospital. They said there wasn't much they could do and the nurse told me to push the toe back into place and wrap it. When I pushed it back I could hear the bone crunch!!! But it healed nicely.
Hope you're better today! Go get it looked at, if you barf on the Dr. just tell him it's his fault for shooting your toe ;)
You have to go and have it looked at! You do not want to mess around with your tootsies! Then its back to that bush, where you should give it the same as it gave you!
Too funny about the fence, at least it works for 2 of them!
Oh Crysty...whatever shall we do with you? LOL! I mean, not LOL. Crying out loud for your pain. GO. TO. THE. DOC!
Owiee! I broke my same baby toe twice this year...both times by stubbing it on the leg of my bed that is hidden under the dust duffle. Dang thing. :P And just yesterday, hubby sliced two of his fingers with his newly sharpened pocket knife and required an ER trip and 6 stitches (happy Father's Day! LOL). So, between the two of us, we're feeling your pain! Hope you feel better soon!
Duh...that "anonymous" comment was from me! I thought I'd signed in.. :}
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