Gather 'round children and I'll tell you the tale of Gimli, the puppy with teeth.
Once upon a time there was a little girl with a vision of her future. Vision Girl worked on a farm (for no pay) just to get a chance to be around horses. Horses were her future and she intended to make sure she could spend her life working with, or near, horses no matter what it took from her to do so. Vision Girl had a way with animals. She could tame the wildest of cats (except that one that took the vent cover off the bathroom floor that one time and made it's escape through the ductwork, but that's another story), calm the most excited of happy, jumping puppies. She had a way about her.
One day, while working on the farm, Hero-Man approached the workers with a sad story of orphaned puppies he found. There was just this one more sweet little black bug of a pup that needed to find a home. Would any of these kind people help by giving this adorable dog a home full of love and much needed nourishment? Well, Vision Girl got right on the phone and called Sucker Mom. She knew Sucker Mom would not be able to turn down any furry thing in need. They already had ummmm, we're not even sure how many furries they had at the time but it was more than twelve. Sucker Mom loaded the others up in the car with the necessary supplies and went to pick up Orphan Pup and proud Vision Girl.
Orphan Pup was adorable! He had big floppy feet and soft puppy ears. His fur was like velvet and his eyes told sad stories of lost mommy and noone to love. Sucker Mom knew it would not be difficult to find Orphan Pup a good home. He was a sweet little thing indeed. Smart too. Within a couple of days, he was asking to go outside and sleeping mostly through the night in spite of having smaller than small puppy bladder. He had learned to sit on command almost instantly and never failed to please. Everybody loved him, especially Promise Man and their other two Promise Kidlets. Sucker Mom would never notice the difference in having another dog (their 6th) because Promise man and Promise Kidlets would take care of him. They would love him and hug him and squeeze him and stroke his little belly...
That little puppy grew and he grew and he grew. Within a month Orphan Pup had far outgrown the other small dogs in the house and was now bigger than all of them combined. He played gently with Little Mean Dog though and Old Fart Dog kept him in his place. All Dog, though small, was full of fire and play and had a grand old time hanging onto the end of the chew toy and flopping in the wind as Massive Dog flew around the back yard with the other chew toy end in his mouth. Prissy Dog, as usual, just ignored them all.
Massive Dog brought the family much happiness. He even proved to be a good teacher, like the time he taught Forgetful Boy not to take his brand new shoes off and leave them on the floor. Massive Dog's patience was long and when Forgetful Boy once again forgot his BRAND NEW SHOES on the floor, he once again instructed him in the reasons that should not be done. The dog has the patience of Job, even going so far as to teach Trusting Girl that shoes on one's feet, dangling happily off the chair while gaming are not necessarily safe from Massive Dog Teeth. The half-dollar sized hole right in the top of her shoe was evidence of a lesson well learned.
Aside from the role of patient teacher, Massive Dog is well versed in the laws of physics, proving by experimentation that a rung chewed to the size of a toothpick can still support the weight of a person at dinner without allowing the chair to collapse. Sucker Mom had heard her grandma say more times than she could remember that she mopped so often that she took the finish right off the floor. Sucker Mom always thought Drama Granny was full of it but Massive Dog, with the help of his massive paws, helped her to understand that yes, a finish can indeed be mopped right off a floor.
Massive Dog also serves as the household counselor, teaching Sucker Mom the important lesson of knowing when to let go. Like that time when Massive Dog ate the office chair. Being a tightwad, Sucker Mom and Forgetful Boy made a project out of carefully repadding and recovering said chair, turning the sad and torn chair into a work of comfy art. Or so they thought. Massive Dog spent an entire week helping Sucker Mom see the error of her ways. A chair that needs to be trash, with a new and fancy covering, can still be a chair that needs to be trash.
Sucker Mom looked upon the wise Massive Dog this morning, his fluffy white chair stuffing beard adding to his look of intelligence and had to wonder what they ever did without him.
Once upon a time there was a little girl with a vision of her future. Vision Girl worked on a farm (for no pay) just to get a chance to be around horses. Horses were her future and she intended to make sure she could spend her life working with, or near, horses no matter what it took from her to do so. Vision Girl had a way with animals. She could tame the wildest of cats (except that one that took the vent cover off the bathroom floor that one time and made it's escape through the ductwork, but that's another story), calm the most excited of happy, jumping puppies. She had a way about her.
One day, while working on the farm, Hero-Man approached the workers with a sad story of orphaned puppies he found. There was just this one more sweet little black bug of a pup that needed to find a home. Would any of these kind people help by giving this adorable dog a home full of love and much needed nourishment? Well, Vision Girl got right on the phone and called Sucker Mom. She knew Sucker Mom would not be able to turn down any furry thing in need. They already had ummmm, we're not even sure how many furries they had at the time but it was more than twelve. Sucker Mom loaded the others up in the car with the necessary supplies and went to pick up Orphan Pup and proud Vision Girl.
Orphan Pup was adorable! He had big floppy feet and soft puppy ears. His fur was like velvet and his eyes told sad stories of lost mommy and noone to love. Sucker Mom knew it would not be difficult to find Orphan Pup a good home. He was a sweet little thing indeed. Smart too. Within a couple of days, he was asking to go outside and sleeping mostly through the night in spite of having smaller than small puppy bladder. He had learned to sit on command almost instantly and never failed to please. Everybody loved him, especially Promise Man and their other two Promise Kidlets. Sucker Mom would never notice the difference in having another dog (their 6th) because Promise man and Promise Kidlets would take care of him. They would love him and hug him and squeeze him and stroke his little belly...
That little puppy grew and he grew and he grew. Within a month Orphan Pup had far outgrown the other small dogs in the house and was now bigger than all of them combined. He played gently with Little Mean Dog though and Old Fart Dog kept him in his place. All Dog, though small, was full of fire and play and had a grand old time hanging onto the end of the chew toy and flopping in the wind as Massive Dog flew around the back yard with the other chew toy end in his mouth. Prissy Dog, as usual, just ignored them all.
Massive Dog brought the family much happiness. He even proved to be a good teacher, like the time he taught Forgetful Boy not to take his brand new shoes off and leave them on the floor. Massive Dog's patience was long and when Forgetful Boy once again forgot his BRAND NEW SHOES on the floor, he once again instructed him in the reasons that should not be done. The dog has the patience of Job, even going so far as to teach Trusting Girl that shoes on one's feet, dangling happily off the chair while gaming are not necessarily safe from Massive Dog Teeth. The half-dollar sized hole right in the top of her shoe was evidence of a lesson well learned.
Aside from the role of patient teacher, Massive Dog is well versed in the laws of physics, proving by experimentation that a rung chewed to the size of a toothpick can still support the weight of a person at dinner without allowing the chair to collapse. Sucker Mom had heard her grandma say more times than she could remember that she mopped so often that she took the finish right off the floor. Sucker Mom always thought Drama Granny was full of it but Massive Dog, with the help of his massive paws, helped her to understand that yes, a finish can indeed be mopped right off a floor.
Massive Dog also serves as the household counselor, teaching Sucker Mom the important lesson of knowing when to let go. Like that time when Massive Dog ate the office chair. Being a tightwad, Sucker Mom and Forgetful Boy made a project out of carefully repadding and recovering said chair, turning the sad and torn chair into a work of comfy art. Or so they thought. Massive Dog spent an entire week helping Sucker Mom see the error of her ways. A chair that needs to be trash, with a new and fancy covering, can still be a chair that needs to be trash.
Sucker Mom looked upon the wise Massive Dog this morning, his fluffy white chair stuffing beard adding to his look of intelligence and had to wonder what they ever did without him.
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