I am one lazy bummer! Yesterday we wrapped school up early and I napped on the couch from 2:00 - 5:30. I woke up in a foul, FOUL mood, ate a grumpy dinner and fell asleep at 9:00. Doug woke me up at 10:30 because he KNEW I wouldn't want to miss ER and as soon as I saw the weather report on the 11:00 news I was out again.
I'm not myself lately. I am still not sleeping well though yesterday is definitely no indication of that problem. I'm having weird, funky dreams of death. Spooky.
Yeah, I am the type that pays close attention to my dreams and those little "feelings" I get. I believe we have the ability to know without seeing, and when I get in modes like this it bugs me. I worry about what is coming - about what I may be missing the signs of when my eyes are open. Last night it was Jacob tied to my dream when other dreams of late have been of people I am supposed to know but they have different faces - call me silly if you want...it bothers me.
My husband has said countless times before that his biggest problem with me is the fact that I'm always right (my thoughts on that are a whole 'nother blog) and though he exaggerates, he's right. I am usually right. I pay attention to my gut feelings and they do me right. So when I get into this kind of mode, especially when it links to someone I love, I get a little wiggy. I wouldn't call myself psychic by any stratch of the imagination, but there is a part of me that is definitely in the know. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes not.
At least I am a little more ready to face the day today since I have finally managed to pick up a little more sleep. The downside of having a husband that works as many hours as mine does is that he gets that second wind right about the time I should be sleeping and he keeps me up. Nevermind that I have to get up hours before he does the next day. Nevermind that he has a schedule his body has been on for the last 17 years without changing. Nevermind that my schedule has been nothing but irratic and I NEED more sleep than I manage to get 6 nights a week.
Maybe I'm just getting sick and that's why I've been feeling so run down lately. Maybe it's the extra work of looking for a new home or the end of the year tax stuff, changing over files, gathering reports and chasing small pieces of paper with faded totals that I've had to do in addition to my regular stuff that normally only consists of housework, school, regular business bookkeeping, laundry, animals and house repair that is wearing on me so. Whatever it is, I am ready for it to pass so I can feel human again. I'm tired of being tired. Tired of being cranky. Tired of always being in need of a nap. It's working on my nerves.
In other news our old dog Brandy dog is changing a lot lately and it makes us face the fact that soon - much sooner than we want to - we are going to have to make some difficult decisions. She is almost completely blind, it seems, and her kidneys are again giving her problems. The cold weather makes it difficult for her to move around and so she spends a lot of time hobbling around when she must move and refusing to move anytime that she doesn't have to. She is still happy, and her quality of life remains good in spite of the problems she faces, but it's hard to watch. Not because she is suffering - arthritis medicine, a special diet and medicine to help keep her kidneys functioning and free of infection help medically and we just don't move any furniture around and we keep her confined to an open area that she knows the layout of well - but because we know each small sign leads us closer to the day we will have to make a decision based on what's best for her rather than what we'd like for us.
We love that old dog - spoiled, demanding thing that she is. It's hard to know she trusts us to do right by her and knowing what that will mean. Brandy is 14 years old this month and though she's only spent the last 4 years with us, it feels like we've loved her a lifetime.
I'm not myself lately. I am still not sleeping well though yesterday is definitely no indication of that problem. I'm having weird, funky dreams of death. Spooky.
Yeah, I am the type that pays close attention to my dreams and those little "feelings" I get. I believe we have the ability to know without seeing, and when I get in modes like this it bugs me. I worry about what is coming - about what I may be missing the signs of when my eyes are open. Last night it was Jacob tied to my dream when other dreams of late have been of people I am supposed to know but they have different faces - call me silly if you want...it bothers me.
My husband has said countless times before that his biggest problem with me is the fact that I'm always right (my thoughts on that are a whole 'nother blog) and though he exaggerates, he's right. I am usually right. I pay attention to my gut feelings and they do me right. So when I get into this kind of mode, especially when it links to someone I love, I get a little wiggy. I wouldn't call myself psychic by any stratch of the imagination, but there is a part of me that is definitely in the know. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes not.
At least I am a little more ready to face the day today since I have finally managed to pick up a little more sleep. The downside of having a husband that works as many hours as mine does is that he gets that second wind right about the time I should be sleeping and he keeps me up. Nevermind that I have to get up hours before he does the next day. Nevermind that he has a schedule his body has been on for the last 17 years without changing. Nevermind that my schedule has been nothing but irratic and I NEED more sleep than I manage to get 6 nights a week.
Maybe I'm just getting sick and that's why I've been feeling so run down lately. Maybe it's the extra work of looking for a new home or the end of the year tax stuff, changing over files, gathering reports and chasing small pieces of paper with faded totals that I've had to do in addition to my regular stuff that normally only consists of housework, school, regular business bookkeeping, laundry, animals and house repair that is wearing on me so. Whatever it is, I am ready for it to pass so I can feel human again. I'm tired of being tired. Tired of being cranky. Tired of always being in need of a nap. It's working on my nerves.
In other news our old dog Brandy dog is changing a lot lately and it makes us face the fact that soon - much sooner than we want to - we are going to have to make some difficult decisions. She is almost completely blind, it seems, and her kidneys are again giving her problems. The cold weather makes it difficult for her to move around and so she spends a lot of time hobbling around when she must move and refusing to move anytime that she doesn't have to. She is still happy, and her quality of life remains good in spite of the problems she faces, but it's hard to watch. Not because she is suffering - arthritis medicine, a special diet and medicine to help keep her kidneys functioning and free of infection help medically and we just don't move any furniture around and we keep her confined to an open area that she knows the layout of well - but because we know each small sign leads us closer to the day we will have to make a decision based on what's best for her rather than what we'd like for us.
We love that old dog - spoiled, demanding thing that she is. It's hard to know she trusts us to do right by her and knowing what that will mean. Brandy is 14 years old this month and though she's only spent the last 4 years with us, it feels like we've loved her a lifetime.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home