Just wondering

My cigarette makes a frying noise each time I take a draw – much like the sound of a tightly rolled, seed exploding, whopping big doobie. I find myself wondering if maybe somebody in the cigarette factory might have spiked it. Then I find myself wondering again if maybe they did the other packs in the carton too.

I find myself doing all kinds of wondering lately. All kinds of wondering about weird and ridiculous things like…
Why do the shoes of men belong in the middle of the floor? And is it contagious because lately I find the shoes of my youngest daughter following in the footsteps of the shoes belonging to her dad and brother. And is it only the very young and unimpressionable women that are susceptible?
And other things like…
Why is it the more phonics and grammar I teach to Jake do I have to stop and wonder so often (is it doobie or dooby?)
And still others more mundane such as…
Why can’t I sleep late on Saturdays?
Why is it that every time I try to have a t-shirt and panty day does somebody show up at my house to visit? I’m dressed 99.9% of the time and you’d think I’m a leper for all the company I get, but the underwear and relaxing day really brings them out in droves.
And I also wonder, but can’t really complain about…
Why can I do all the laundry on days I get to hang clothes on the line, but if it’s raining and I have to put them in the dryer, the last load will sit in there for THREE DAYS.
And…
Am I the only one that thinks this dude looks an awful lot like Captain Piccard?