So it's 4am now and I still can't sleep. I've eaten a plate of wheat thins with neufenchel herbed cheese (yummy) and can't even get into fat nap attack mode (my husband's term) I'm quite sure I ate enough of them too. I did have a nice chat with my friend Teri. I seldom get to talk to her during the day because well, she actually writes, and I hate to interrupt her, and I know she has to be tired with all the radiation treatments. Good news is her hair isn't falling out yet and she says call her any time. She's got lazier and nicer with the onset of her tumor - I have to watch her though because she likes to tumor-trump me when we are whining about our days. "My life sucks. The basement is flooded, the freezer is shot, we had to replace the a/c and furnace, I have too many animals, my kids are being a pain, my husband is being a pain..." Teri says, "I have a brain tumor." and well, all rounds go to her.
On Momwriters this week, everyone is telling the tale of their journey to and with Momwriters. It's been a lot of fun reading them and it's brought me a lot to think about. I'm not exactly sure when I joined but I think it was late 1998 - at least I can remember discussions from that far back. I didn't post for quite a while after joining because it was my first ever attempt at an email list and I was having trouble mastering the reading of so much email, much less figuring out how to get involved in it (I'm a little bit computer stupid). By now though it seems as if I've been there forever. Without hesitation, my family now plans our vacation every summer around momwriter get togethers and we look forward to it very much. My husband and children each have their own personal favorites in the group of mw's and their families that we've met, and at this point, the number is getting on up there. Come late July we will once again load up and drive 800 miles to visit people I've met and some we've never met and the list will grow again.
The people I consider my best friends in the world are Momwriters. After high school my friends and I all got jobs and life moved on. It didn't seem to stop moving to allow time to keep in touch. I have one friend I still think about often though I haven't even spoke to her since my son (who is now 6) was still days old. Life happens, things change, people move on, I guess. Funny, I had always kind of thought we'd be together forever. We had been friends since we were 4 years old and though I've lived in the same place for over 10 years now, I've had no contact from her. I've tried to track her down a few times but none of her family still live where they used to. C'est La Vie. For many years I was stuck at home with 3 children under the age of 4 - well only a short time with them under the age of 4 but with an age spread so small and two that needed to be carried while one still needed her hand held, well, it made it hard to go places. My husband worked near 100 hours a week religiously and I was always home alone with the kids. Never alone and always lonely.
I had always wanted to write. It was the dream that never left me that I didn't tell anyone, except my husband. Writing was the kind of thing that if I shared it with people, they would laugh at me...that's why I quit sharing. You can only watch someone's eyes glaze over with that blank 'what the hell?' look welling up in them so many times before you learn to keep your mouth shut. My husband though, he had a way of making me want to share my real self with him. For years he told me I should write that children's book. He would bring it up from out of the blue. He had confidence in me, and he never laughed.
Well, one day I was piddling around on the computer, chatting it up in a moms online chat room for writers when a woman I was talking to told me about momwriters. I can't remember who it was, and I sure wish I did so that I could thank her. I think maybe her screenname was writermama with a number at the end (or something like that) I have no idea really though. Years later I'm still there, and though I went no mail for 9 months, there have been people I just can't do without. Teri has been a huge comfort to me - a spiritual companion and a great source of comfort for me when I was searching. She is funny, supportive and friendly. Linda is another handy type and we have great fun discussing our latest projects together. Recently when I started to remodel our old kitchen and discovered that the original owners didn't actually build a wall but attached it lightly to the back of the cabinets I had just ripped out, she helped calm my fears of presenting my husband with a pair of french doors we could walk through, or around (I managed to save the wall and reframe it, btw). Barb is like a part ofme. For some reason we just click together. She's younger than me by more years than I even want to admit, but there's no complaining about Barb. She rescues kids like I do animals. She keeps me in awe of her devotion and her determination. She's strong and knows exactly what her purpose is and she intends to be what she was meant to be. Barb touches my heart every time I talk to her. She's really something special. Then there is Koni...a world apart from someone like me, but we manage to burn up the phone lines when I can catch her at home. I doubt two more different people could be found but we're a good match and we have a great time. Shelley (in SWO) she's interesting. A politician in the making - a writer extraordinaire, for some reason she maintains a confidence in me that I've never been able to gather. If I ever manage to believe in me just half as much as she does I may actually write something. I hope I've done a good enough job of letting her know how much she gives me.
I've got so much more from momwriters than I went in expecting to gain. I'm not a writer yet, maybe, but I'm in the world's best place to start. Where else could I spend over 4 years just working up the nerve to do what I want to do? Ok, so I'm a chicken. I still half expect people to laugh or give me that look I remember so well from many moons ago when I first mentioned wanting to write. I readily admit to that. Maybe one day that will pass. I haven't given up on wanting to, they haven't let me give up on wanting to, and they won't. My day is coming...
On Momwriters this week, everyone is telling the tale of their journey to and with Momwriters. It's been a lot of fun reading them and it's brought me a lot to think about. I'm not exactly sure when I joined but I think it was late 1998 - at least I can remember discussions from that far back. I didn't post for quite a while after joining because it was my first ever attempt at an email list and I was having trouble mastering the reading of so much email, much less figuring out how to get involved in it (I'm a little bit computer stupid). By now though it seems as if I've been there forever. Without hesitation, my family now plans our vacation every summer around momwriter get togethers and we look forward to it very much. My husband and children each have their own personal favorites in the group of mw's and their families that we've met, and at this point, the number is getting on up there. Come late July we will once again load up and drive 800 miles to visit people I've met and some we've never met and the list will grow again.
The people I consider my best friends in the world are Momwriters. After high school my friends and I all got jobs and life moved on. It didn't seem to stop moving to allow time to keep in touch. I have one friend I still think about often though I haven't even spoke to her since my son (who is now 6) was still days old. Life happens, things change, people move on, I guess. Funny, I had always kind of thought we'd be together forever. We had been friends since we were 4 years old and though I've lived in the same place for over 10 years now, I've had no contact from her. I've tried to track her down a few times but none of her family still live where they used to. C'est La Vie. For many years I was stuck at home with 3 children under the age of 4 - well only a short time with them under the age of 4 but with an age spread so small and two that needed to be carried while one still needed her hand held, well, it made it hard to go places. My husband worked near 100 hours a week religiously and I was always home alone with the kids. Never alone and always lonely.
I had always wanted to write. It was the dream that never left me that I didn't tell anyone, except my husband. Writing was the kind of thing that if I shared it with people, they would laugh at me...that's why I quit sharing. You can only watch someone's eyes glaze over with that blank 'what the hell?' look welling up in them so many times before you learn to keep your mouth shut. My husband though, he had a way of making me want to share my real self with him. For years he told me I should write that children's book. He would bring it up from out of the blue. He had confidence in me, and he never laughed.
Well, one day I was piddling around on the computer, chatting it up in a moms online chat room for writers when a woman I was talking to told me about momwriters. I can't remember who it was, and I sure wish I did so that I could thank her. I think maybe her screenname was writermama with a number at the end (or something like that) I have no idea really though. Years later I'm still there, and though I went no mail for 9 months, there have been people I just can't do without. Teri has been a huge comfort to me - a spiritual companion and a great source of comfort for me when I was searching. She is funny, supportive and friendly. Linda is another handy type and we have great fun discussing our latest projects together. Recently when I started to remodel our old kitchen and discovered that the original owners didn't actually build a wall but attached it lightly to the back of the cabinets I had just ripped out, she helped calm my fears of presenting my husband with a pair of french doors we could walk through, or around (I managed to save the wall and reframe it, btw). Barb is like a part ofme. For some reason we just click together. She's younger than me by more years than I even want to admit, but there's no complaining about Barb. She rescues kids like I do animals. She keeps me in awe of her devotion and her determination. She's strong and knows exactly what her purpose is and she intends to be what she was meant to be. Barb touches my heart every time I talk to her. She's really something special. Then there is Koni...a world apart from someone like me, but we manage to burn up the phone lines when I can catch her at home. I doubt two more different people could be found but we're a good match and we have a great time. Shelley (in SWO) she's interesting. A politician in the making - a writer extraordinaire, for some reason she maintains a confidence in me that I've never been able to gather. If I ever manage to believe in me just half as much as she does I may actually write something. I hope I've done a good enough job of letting her know how much she gives me.
I've got so much more from momwriters than I went in expecting to gain. I'm not a writer yet, maybe, but I'm in the world's best place to start. Where else could I spend over 4 years just working up the nerve to do what I want to do? Ok, so I'm a chicken. I still half expect people to laugh or give me that look I remember so well from many moons ago when I first mentioned wanting to write. I readily admit to that. Maybe one day that will pass. I haven't given up on wanting to, they haven't let me give up on wanting to, and they won't. My day is coming...
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